Writing Portfolio Entry 4:

I have been trying to keep my eyes open to persuasion as it exists around me, as I travel, interact with, and listen to the people and subconscious communications around me. This all happened in the course of one day:

A turned back, cold shoulder and refusal to acknowledge my presence, persuades me to believe that I no longer have relevance in those eyes. A bright smile and friendly whack on the shoulder means that someone still does miss having me around. A tear streaked face filled with fear and apprehension, persuades me to believe that this little girl, having already lost her Dad is frozen over the knowledge of her Mum leaving suddenly in an ambulance, and the concern about her making it home too. A tired but focused face, buried under tight gold curls, persuades me to believe that she is working hard, and is definitely worth hanging around for a few extra minutes to say hi. A pulled out chair and an eager face with bright blue eyes, combined with questions about my week and how I am doing, persuades me to believe that I actually am important and that I am worth knowing and that he wishes to know me better. A huge hug, and that funny look on her face--part guilt part "surprise" while she holds her new kitten-- reminds me that she is becoming one of my best friends and that I really missed her while she was away in Egypt. A short and gently humorous email, reminds me of his kindness and wish for me to be comfortable with this new group of people. A squinting smile reminds me of how much my Father loves me and my goofy side. Seeing glasses being lifted away from a face as well as a book being set down as I walk into the room, persuades me to believe that she did stay up to hear how my evening went, and that my Mum really does love to hear about my individual goings on.

Every twitch, every motion and every glance can persuade as well. So much more is said through physical commentary than the words that we speak. Watch someone’s eyes for an hour, and you will know more about them than just speaking with them alone. I listened to my sister talk for a straight hour about many different things that were either on her mind, or in her heart. I really tried to listen as well as I could, and worked hard to not just interject with wisdom whenever I felt that I had something to short circuit the conversation. Sometimes people want to go the long way around, and should. It might sound a little self righteous, but I was rather proud of myself for listening as well as I did. I am a much better talker than listener. But that is what my sister needed. She persuaded me, both through my love for her, her desire for me to know her, as well as providing factual evidence of why it was so important to her that she was being heard by all those who know her.

Society would love to persuade me to believe, both through advertising and social stigma, that being single means that you are less than worthy. Or that there is something wrong with you to “drive these men from you.” Since I have been single since my first steps on this Earth, advertising would love to pick away at me until I gave into their thoughts or values. I may be single, but I am never alone. I am independent by choice, not because I am a “victim” or are “valueless”. I refuse to be convinced otherwise. I would much rather be happy and alone than be unhappy with someone else. There is nothing to gain in that kind of "convenience". 

I am persuaded by duty and determination to get up in the morning and go to class, despite a intense wish to rest, relax, run away, refuse,  roll over...etc. My instructors teach us every day, which in turn reminds me of the importance of every class. So I go. To receive the imparted wisdom and life experience. Sometimes we get more than we bargained for, sometimes we leave with less. But that is the chance we all take. More often than not it comes down to how willing we are to have eyes and ears open to knowledge and wisdom, without leaving our morals and integrity out to dry, or have our minds so wide open that everything falls out. 

Writing Portfolio Entry 3:

This evening I sat listening to my Father play his old acoustic guitar. It has been ages since I have heard him play. There is something about the guitar that just draws me out of any place I may be and forces me to sit down and listen, blissed right out. It is the closest thing to a siren's song I can think of.  It does something to my soul, I cannot even begin to describe. 
I found myself relaxing as he hit semi-tones and developed the base for a melody, swept me back to younger years listening, harmonizing to, and most likely dancing to my Father composing in front of one of our many pianos. How I wish now that I had been quick enough to record him playing back then. His musical genius and skill is so filled with beauty and technical ability.  
My passion for art and music really does come from him. It feels neat to carry on the creative torch. Both my sister and I carry it actually.  If I wasn't so in love with Graphic Design, I may have just pushed to become a theater or musical professional. But I am more than content to have my moments of inspiration combined with my creative drive to work with words and notes on a personal level. 
I generally don't share any of my personal compositions or songs. And if I do, I generally leave it to the composition, and don't mention anything. I have sharing-shyness syndrome... I count myself fortunate that I can not only appreciate music but can also play and sing. It makes it even more special knowing that I can join the rest of my family in this as well. 
Live music, especially someone playing music right in my home, out in nature, or aboard a boat. I am missing those days.

As I am currently working on an analytical report for my Technical English course, I am studying a newsletter from the society that I crossed the Pacific ocean with. It brings back so many beautiful and excellent memories that I hold so close to my heart. I am very blessed to say that I have experienced this kind of travel. Many will never have that unique memory that I have. I would not trade it for anything in the world.  


Now it is late, and I have lost my train of thought...Ah well. 

Writing Portfolio Entry 2:

Today I fear that I am struggling to grasp at the straws of sanity. The current work load has come crashing down hard, and the potential for failure is far larger than I would like. Having been sick for seven days has set me back, and trying to play catch up with a lost week is impossible. I understand that other people have made it through this course, and have done very well for themselves, but there is a huge cost. Failure is not an option for me. I do not have the financial luxury of time or money that others may have. I have to kill myself now for my work, to enjoy the benefits later on in my career. It seems rather shallow sometimes to complain, and my friends have tried to be understanding that this is NOT your average university course. It does not operate within the normal confines of education and demands. We are having to learn, master and produce all in one go. We must become faster, more proficient and somehow maintain an exceptional reputation with clients, and develop a unique and marketable style. I am only one of many within my class who are probably feeling the same way right now. 


There is no time for slip ups, mistakes or do overs. There is also no time for emotional disruptions or for life to get in the way. Am I only being self deceiving thinking that it will be different in the real world? I had a surprise run in with some anger, indignation and a devastating fight or flight response to the shadow of an area of my personal life this morning. I thought that I would be further along the healing path, and I have been, for which I am thankful. It ended up being more of a "How dare you make me feel like that." response. I had no time to sit there and watch tears roll down my arms and become swallowed by disparaging and an overwhelming desire to use whatever energy I currently possessed to pound out on a sparring partner,or via mountain bike. Musically, I was having a Pantera - This Love, moment. ( I was in martial arts for six years, for those of you who are late to the game.) But there I was. Stuck a my couch, weeping my way into a corner for a weight I must work back into place. I am very thankful for a wonderful and comforting Mother who has taken such good care of me. She has helped, cheered and carried me when the chips were down. I also have appreciated the sweetness of my Father, with his ample hugs and my younger sister, for her cheeriness and comfort. When there were days that life decided to drop kick me into a gully of thorns, they were there to pull me out and clean me up. 


School on the other hand, is a solo mission. It is all on me to pick up after and for myself when things are going side ways. No matter how much I have tried to stay organized, there has been some technical, and occasionally communication challenges with instructors--class wide. We are human. It happens. But I think that it is the continual feeling like I am behind and cannot keep up or catch up, is starting to hack away at my concentration. I know that there is always the "one bite at a time" method, and I have certainly been trying to do both that and keep up and have  a mind on the fact that I have so many other projects to get to and get through. When teacher's start moving deadlines around, it really doesn't help me remember what is due when.  


Life comes and goes. It has many seasons, some the same, some so different you can barely even breath. Like anyone else, I hate the feeling that I cannot keep my head above water, and that there are things that I shouldn't care about anymore, nor have a right to bother me at all,  that can still reach up and choke me. We can bless and burden people so easily. It takes mere seconds to alleviate a lifetime of pain. A smile, a hug or a job done silently in the shadows to empower someone else can make all the difference. We can also devastate because of our refusal to see beyond ourselves.  


Hell and high water already came. I will get through this too. sigh.


Back to work. 

Writing Portfolio Entry 1:

Since I have a required written portfolio for my Technical English class, he recommended that we keep in a digital format for printing, so I thought that I would take advantage of it and use it as an opportunity to post up here. Same concept, and hits two birds with one stone.

During our class we were discussing persuasion; its' definition and how it takes form in a written document.  We were each given five minutes to get our thoughts down on paper, and I found myself continually editing and changing what I was trying to say. I guess having a Project Management class before English was more influential than I first expected, because upon reflection, most of what I was trying to say sounded so corporate, by the time I handed it in, even I was at a loss to exactly what I was saying.

As much as I can see the greater purpose of taking a Project Management course, the overwhelming conceptual complexity and abbreviations seem to serve as more of a road block than a guide. Although my instructor has said that the terminology isn't important, I fear the lack of comprehension of the language is going to leave me behind. In other words, it the terminology isn't important, why is it still part of the curriculum if it is not relevant?  You must excuse me if my mind is a bit behind on this whole concept.

To move us beyond the bitter ramblings of an over taxed brain, I hope to have an understanding of this important information before I am stuck in the corporate wheel of a company and am fumbling to lead a team because of my lack of understanding. In the end, I am thankful for the education of this subject area that I have obviously have never been exposed to before. University is good for that. 

Persuasion: convincing an audience to act on either fact or bias that you have presented. Voluntarily. Happily. On your side. With support. Without manipulation or force. You are calling them to move, make a decision or cease an action. Persuading that you know best, or to trust the facts that you have laid before them. Independently working within a whole to come to a conclusion.  

We are either following, leading or standing still when it comes to persuasion. Someone needs to come along and present us with a solution, or a message to change where we are going, or to cheer us further on down the road. Status reports on products produced by a company, stopping the current procedures within an organization or announcing business quarter sales. Moving, changing or cheering.

If every word we say is persuasive, should we not then be more careful of what we say? Or is it that we should be more aware of the control that others may have over us?  

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PEACE!

~AOEDesign

School is the Major on deck.

I will most likely be waiting to post anything on here until sometime in December, when class is in a pause!

-AOEDesign

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Start up the connection! 

- The Axis of Easel