Sunday, November 28, 2010

Writing Portfolio Entry 4:

I have been trying to keep my eyes open to persuasion as it exists around me, as I travel, interact with, and listen to the people and subconscious communications around me. This all happened in the course of one day:

A turned back, cold shoulder and refusal to acknowledge my presence, persuades me to believe that I no longer have relevance in those eyes. A bright smile and friendly whack on the shoulder means that someone still does miss having me around. A tear streaked face filled with fear and apprehension, persuades me to believe that this little girl, having already lost her Dad is frozen over the knowledge of her Mum leaving suddenly in an ambulance, and the concern about her making it home too. A tired but focused face, buried under tight gold curls, persuades me to believe that she is working hard, and is definitely worth hanging around for a few extra minutes to say hi. A pulled out chair and an eager face with bright blue eyes, combined with questions about my week and how I am doing, persuades me to believe that I actually am important and that I am worth knowing and that he wishes to know me better. A huge hug, and that funny look on her face--part guilt part "surprise" while she holds her new kitten-- reminds me that she is becoming one of my best friends and that I really missed her while she was away in Egypt. A short and gently humorous email, reminds me of his kindness and wish for me to be comfortable with this new group of people. A squinting smile reminds me of how much my Father loves me and my goofy side. Seeing glasses being lifted away from a face as well as a book being set down as I walk into the room, persuades me to believe that she did stay up to hear how my evening went, and that my Mum really does love to hear about my individual goings on.

Every twitch, every motion and every glance can persuade as well. So much more is said through physical commentary than the words that we speak. Watch someone’s eyes for an hour, and you will know more about them than just speaking with them alone. I listened to my sister talk for a straight hour about many different things that were either on her mind, or in her heart. I really tried to listen as well as I could, and worked hard to not just interject with wisdom whenever I felt that I had something to short circuit the conversation. Sometimes people want to go the long way around, and should. It might sound a little self righteous, but I was rather proud of myself for listening as well as I did. I am a much better talker than listener. But that is what my sister needed. She persuaded me, both through my love for her, her desire for me to know her, as well as providing factual evidence of why it was so important to her that she was being heard by all those who know her.

Society would love to persuade me to believe, both through advertising and social stigma, that being single means that you are less than worthy. Or that there is something wrong with you to “drive these men from you.” Since I have been single since my first steps on this Earth, advertising would love to pick away at me until I gave into their thoughts or values. I may be single, but I am never alone. I am independent by choice, not because I am a “victim” or are “valueless”. I refuse to be convinced otherwise. I would much rather be happy and alone than be unhappy with someone else. There is nothing to gain in that kind of "convenience". 

I am persuaded by duty and determination to get up in the morning and go to class, despite a intense wish to rest, relax, run away, refuse,  roll over...etc. My instructors teach us every day, which in turn reminds me of the importance of every class. So I go. To receive the imparted wisdom and life experience. Sometimes we get more than we bargained for, sometimes we leave with less. But that is the chance we all take. More often than not it comes down to how willing we are to have eyes and ears open to knowledge and wisdom, without leaving our morals and integrity out to dry, or have our minds so wide open that everything falls out. 

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